Have I given up my skid row citizenship?
I don't know, but it is strange to be living in a part of the community that isn't full of crime and folks sleeping on the streets, no smell of weed intermixed with the smell of crack cocaine. No feeling that the criminals will get me , no one walking by me and saying threatening things only I can hear related to my work with the LAPD and the non-profits.
It is also quite interesting to know that I had to put these fears , these thoughts of seeing human beings suffering, into the far recesses of my mind everyday I was in skid row. To think that this is a traumatic experience , I can assure you living in skid row everyday is a traumatic experience , thus, now I dread having to go there and all I have to do is get the rest of my belongings.
Skid Row is as raw as it gets. The naked human condition. The predators , both sexual and drug enslavers , are everywhere. I mean , where else can you live and a person goes around showing you a nude photo of his so called girlfriend on his cell phone in a provocative position and then when you tell them you don't want to see that are called gay and then that person hits on you. The perversity in skid row was everywhere. But when one maintains that light through the strength of the creator of the Universe , things have to change around you; these laws are inviolable.
I am a square. I am not perfect,but most would call me a square. In skid row to be a square is not welcome. I witnessed a person who claimed to be law abiding and living in skid row at a public hearing , knowing that that person sells boot leg dvds. SO even many who claim to be square front a lot to hide their true character.
I know that much of the universe is hard for many to understand. I don't know how to live by all of the laws of the universe and work within the scope of those natural laws , but I do know that living by faith and understanding faith as a universal natural law , then I can move forward in this existence. I truly believe we are meant to discover these laws and learn to abide by them so we can draw closer to the source which these laws come from..
It is difficult for others to even come close to understand concepts such as delayed gratification, inertia ( what goes up must come down, reaping and sowing, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction) why we must refrain from introducing chemicals into our bodies that mimic those in the body because the body will stop producing the ones internally which allow us to grow and learn....and that we are responsible for our behaviors around others because we can cause negative energy to attach to another and cause pain and suffering and sadness.
Free will is a right and inalienable right and it is also a tool we can use to work within the parameters of the natural laws to create and enjoy our sentience and our extension of what is inherently at the core of our every being and express it. That radiation which we call the life force...
I am skid row adjacent, but am living in a different culture where social norms are followed , where there are consequences to what we do , where civility can have it's day. Skid Row was not like that, it is a place where bad is rewarded and good is punished. It is a place that instills in those who wish to live a life of virtue the opportunity to endure , the whole world is like that , but in skid row negative energy is the dominating force, and when one is full of positive energy, you can actually feel the negative forces around you pushing to squash it and if it can't gain your will , it will literally push you out or try to push you away, because the darkness can not be, nor stand to be, around light. If you are light. skid row will literally regurgitate you from within it's borders .
It is this that I have to take hold of; that I must endure to the end and do what I know is right and cling to the knowledge that in due season I will reap . It is these tests that make us who we are. I am literally a better person for having lived in skid row. For understanding and sensing the pain that flows from those who do not and have not learned the lessons that I have. You can feel their pain and they sometimes will tell you that it is easy for those on the straight and narrow to look like perfection in that place, it literally causes them emotional pain that hurts them. I can't comprehend the idea that just because I don't consume drugs or engage in prostitution or prey on other human beings how someone could envy those attributes in myself. To me it is just Loving oneself and loving my neighbors. It is also a gift..
I digress to the fact that I am now even having a hard time going back to the heart of skid row now that I don't have to....WOW!!!! So many do wish to keep it out of sight and mind... but if we are all connected by the same source , no matter how dim , we can still feel the deep suffering of these our fellow human beings.... The human condition is what we are living...
I don't know, but it is strange to be living in a part of the community that isn't full of crime and folks sleeping on the streets, no smell of weed intermixed with the smell of crack cocaine. No feeling that the criminals will get me , no one walking by me and saying threatening things only I can hear related to my work with the LAPD and the non-profits.
It is also quite interesting to know that I had to put these fears , these thoughts of seeing human beings suffering, into the far recesses of my mind everyday I was in skid row. To think that this is a traumatic experience , I can assure you living in skid row everyday is a traumatic experience , thus, now I dread having to go there and all I have to do is get the rest of my belongings.
Skid Row is as raw as it gets. The naked human condition. The predators , both sexual and drug enslavers , are everywhere. I mean , where else can you live and a person goes around showing you a nude photo of his so called girlfriend on his cell phone in a provocative position and then when you tell them you don't want to see that are called gay and then that person hits on you. The perversity in skid row was everywhere. But when one maintains that light through the strength of the creator of the Universe , things have to change around you; these laws are inviolable.
I am a square. I am not perfect,but most would call me a square. In skid row to be a square is not welcome. I witnessed a person who claimed to be law abiding and living in skid row at a public hearing , knowing that that person sells boot leg dvds. SO even many who claim to be square front a lot to hide their true character.
I know that much of the universe is hard for many to understand. I don't know how to live by all of the laws of the universe and work within the scope of those natural laws , but I do know that living by faith and understanding faith as a universal natural law , then I can move forward in this existence. I truly believe we are meant to discover these laws and learn to abide by them so we can draw closer to the source which these laws come from..
It is difficult for others to even come close to understand concepts such as delayed gratification, inertia ( what goes up must come down, reaping and sowing, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction) why we must refrain from introducing chemicals into our bodies that mimic those in the body because the body will stop producing the ones internally which allow us to grow and learn....and that we are responsible for our behaviors around others because we can cause negative energy to attach to another and cause pain and suffering and sadness.
Free will is a right and inalienable right and it is also a tool we can use to work within the parameters of the natural laws to create and enjoy our sentience and our extension of what is inherently at the core of our every being and express it. That radiation which we call the life force...
I am skid row adjacent, but am living in a different culture where social norms are followed , where there are consequences to what we do , where civility can have it's day. Skid Row was not like that, it is a place where bad is rewarded and good is punished. It is a place that instills in those who wish to live a life of virtue the opportunity to endure , the whole world is like that , but in skid row negative energy is the dominating force, and when one is full of positive energy, you can actually feel the negative forces around you pushing to squash it and if it can't gain your will , it will literally push you out or try to push you away, because the darkness can not be, nor stand to be, around light. If you are light. skid row will literally regurgitate you from within it's borders .
It is this that I have to take hold of; that I must endure to the end and do what I know is right and cling to the knowledge that in due season I will reap . It is these tests that make us who we are. I am literally a better person for having lived in skid row. For understanding and sensing the pain that flows from those who do not and have not learned the lessons that I have. You can feel their pain and they sometimes will tell you that it is easy for those on the straight and narrow to look like perfection in that place, it literally causes them emotional pain that hurts them. I can't comprehend the idea that just because I don't consume drugs or engage in prostitution or prey on other human beings how someone could envy those attributes in myself. To me it is just Loving oneself and loving my neighbors. It is also a gift..
I digress to the fact that I am now even having a hard time going back to the heart of skid row now that I don't have to....WOW!!!! So many do wish to keep it out of sight and mind... but if we are all connected by the same source , no matter how dim , we can still feel the deep suffering of these our fellow human beings.... The human condition is what we are living...
Comments